Top 5 Did That Just Happen? Moments

I guess the deal with this tag is list your 5 WTF moments during bad sex. DON'T HURT URSELF tagged me.....SMCH! If I didn't have love for your off beat ass, I wouldnt've done it. LOL! But I can't follow directions to save my life so I'll have good and bad moments. I'm not gonna tag nobody so if you want to do this....like a4h says, "Tag yo-self!"

5
While receiving fellatio from this lovely young woman....



Her eyes start rolling into the back of her head and she starts shaking a bit. Now here I am thinking....either she is really getting into this or this chick is having an epileptic seizure! Well.....it was the latter. Apparently, my back was to the TV and whatever was on, was flashing rather erratically....like a strobe light. Well, I never saw her again. I think it was for the best.

4



While in my man-whore days, I was at the telly with my people. we were burning some good-good when I sit on some chick's lap. I was so high I honestly didn't knw she was there. Well, she let's me sit and I hit the blunt one more time. Before I know it, her hand is on my dick. Not an issue....I'm like cool. I turn around to get ready to handle my business, and i turn back around to pass the blunt off.....EVERYONE IN THE ROOM IS FUCKIN!!!



So what do I do....I joined in!

3

Two days, after that romp I go to the club wearing red contacts. I looked like the devil yawl! Anyway, while in this club I run across this fat booty chick who says some real slick shit to me. So I'm like bet, I got this one coming back to the tel with me. Sure enough, once the club lets out she's waiting outside for me. I get her back to the room and we instantly start fucking. We take it to the shower, and next thing I know she's like I can't go no more. I'm like cool cause I'me a little tired myself. As soon as we step out the shower, shorty faints! I'm not exaggerating or embellishing the story. She fainted. I'm standing there like WTF! I had my favorite look on my face too....



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This is more like a why did I have to see this shit moment. Fellas, if you are sexually liberated with you're woman meaning you like to "try" things, make sure you don't take no pictures of that shit. And you better be DAMN SURE....yo don't piss that woman off. This dude ex-wife, who I must admit is really...really good in bed, is mad as fuck at this nigga. She pulls out a bunch of pictures of this dude shoving all sorts of shit up his ass! Bananas, broomsticks, spoons, candle holders....you name it he shoved it up there. When I say a bunch, I'm talking over 100. Ol' girl was in some of them too, shoving the various items into his off ramp.

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My number one all time WTF moment. I was in my barracks room watching TV when this chick I met that day calls me up. She wanted to kick it so I was like cool, and I go to pick her up from work.



So she get's in the car smelling like french fries and chicken grease. She said she had a change of clothes in her bag so I was like cool. I told her she was gonna have to take a shower if she was gonna be kicking it in my room. She had that in mind anyway so that was cool. She get's in my room and get's naked on the spot. Mind you I met her in the drive thru earlier that day. She takes he shower and comes back in the room and was dripping wet. I'm thinking is this chick gonna dry off or stand in front of me glistening like that. So I'm thinking I got me a jump-off. she walks over to me and starts sucking the royal penis.....LOL....I had too! So she goes to get on and I WILL PUT THIS ON MY MOMMA JOE! This bitch starts farting. I put her ass out so quick! I'm still mad at that shit!!!

It's also quite fitting that this is my 69th Blog!

Puttin' Up Numbers Like Wilt!!!

I'm am by no means a sexual genius. I'm a King, not porn star. However I was reading an article in Men's Health about how to have sex with someone new every night. I was instantly intrigued....had someone really found the way to lay a different woman every night? Well, much to my dismay, it was about role playing. Wait a sec, did they say role playing? Now I'm a Scorpio and a big time freak. I continue to read. Some experts say that it is a healthy sexual release to role play during sexual activity. So I'll give you an example.....

Here we have *thinking of a general name so I don't offend* David and Mary. (Lord forgive me. These were the most common names I could think of off top.) He's a hard working average joe. He works at a factory pulling normal hours. He lives a normal life, in a normal house, with a normal car and a normal wife. Everything seems to be in place....no drama in his life. She's a homemaker, cooks, cleans, maintains the finances. She has a roof over her head so she's happy. No complaint's.



However, when the moon rises....they transform into Hector the Brazilian exotic dancer and Natalia the Russian figure skater.



They have some of the kinkiest sex you can imagine. Why? because they are merely acting out fantasies of other people the wish they could be. "Weird, right? That's what I thought at first. It's not. Pretending to be someone else is fun. It's exciting. It's hot. Trust me -- I'm a Ph.D. with seven published papers on the female orgasm."

Well he wasn't and didn't hold a Ph.D. in Pleasure, but is he speaking truths? So here's what I want to know....what naughty fantasy do you wanna play out with your significant other? Do you wanna be that cheerleader after the starting QB? How bout this fellas....you are in an entry-level position and she's your boss? Spill it! I know yawl got some stories and/or fantasies that you wanna live out.

As always, go check out the Award winning Blogxilla for the hottest blogs in one place. We blog like Rock Stars people! We livin' the good life!

Royal King © 2007

So Hard To Say Good-Bye

Normally, I wouldn't dwell on events that occur in my life. Mostly because I'm too damn lazy, and don't like to exert the energy that dwelling on shit will incur. However I felt a burning need to address this topic. We all have gone through this at one time or will eventually go through a situation such as this one. How does one say good-bye to the person they love. When do you know when to hold on and when to let go.

I feel letting go of someone or something you love hurts more than getting shot. Believe me, getting shot hurts.....bad. How can you just erase so many good memories, good times, and priceless moments? How does one cope with the feelings they have knowing that once they say that final good-bye, there's no going back?

What happens is you travel down that lonely road of regret. But you still haven't quite grasped the exact nature of the choice that was made. Say good-bye or see you later? I made a mistake in saying good-bye. I should have said see you later, but would that have hurt me more in the long rung. I regret nothing I've ever done in life. I do what I do for a reason. The decision to say good-bye instead of see you later will amount to my biggest fuck up to date. I really wanted to say see you later, but it's too late now. All I can do is walk away.......