So I've finally decided to let you guys in on exactly who Royal King is. Sorta like a mini-biography of sorts. Don't worry....I won't get into all the ass whoopin's I received as a kid. Lord knows my mom put that "Red Belt" to good use on my ass. What can I say....I grew up a effin' screw up. LOL! I'll start somewhere with elementary school. I went to John J. Pershing Elementary Magnet School for the Humanities. I know that was a mouthful. At the time the only other elementary school vying for top in the city was Beasley. SMCH!

Anyway, it was then I learned I had LLI or Low Latent Inhibition. Basically what that means is I'm more in touch with shit that goes on around me....sight, hearing and feelings. I see shit that normal people....you guys....don't see. So it kinda made me an outcast at a very early age. I had very few friends, and the majority of the time I was the butt of everyone's jokes and/or pranks. So I came to enjoy the company of myself to be comforting. I started writing creatively at a very early age. Mostly it was about how I was treated by everyone around me. It wasn't a pretty sight. So I did what most kids do, I acted out a lot. I stayed in some sort of trouble.

Well moving on to high school....that was an adventure in itself. I went from a class of 29 students to a class of 521. I went to the one and only....Whitney M. Young Magnet High School. Same school that produced New York Knicks guard Quentin Richardson, Actor Voltaire Sterling, and your favorite bloggers Randy and Slickback. I started high school at an amazing height of 4'10" so you know the teasing continued. I have always been the type of person to want to please someone no matter what it took. Even if I had to sacrifice my dignity. It never seemed to work there either. Any female I had a remote interest in treated me like I was bottom-feeder. Randy will tell you. My school had a bunch of clicks. you had the Hoop Squad, Guys'N'Dolls, the Goth, the deaf kids, the backpackers.....etc. I fell under the backpackers because of my joy for writing and graffiti. We weren't really widely accepted through school. We were only cool when my boy Rashad would murder some cat freestylin'. High school for me was hell. I learned to hide my feelings well in elementary school, so by time I reached high school.....the proverbial wall had become a well fortified box. I started distributing drugs. No I didn't sell drugs on the corner. I distributed....there's a big difference. Anyway, I was moving shit so I thought that if I flashed a little bread....people would at least pay attention to me. Nope. Didn't work. I became so wrapped up in my outside affairs, I stopped going to class and subsequently ended upi getting kicked out of high school. I ended up at Urban Youth High School or as everyone affectionately called it "Double E." That's pretty much where they sent you if no other school would take you. My box completely shut and has never opened sice. There I became the most popular student because I was the smartest one there. Street smart and book smart. There I learned how fake some people could be.

We fast forward to now. I've been in the military for 8 1/2 years now. Been all around the world and seen many things. I've never had any issues getting a girl or having a girlfriend. Somewhere shit goes wrong and I end up getting blamed for shit I had nothing to do with. I've been shot 3 times by a girl who thought I was cheating on her, stabbed by another....and all around treated like shit. Is it because I try to hard to be the perfect gentleman.....maybe. I found that most of the females I've dealt with, didn't know how to react when someone actually treated them with respect. I unintentionally grouped all women into that category of if I treat you the way you deserve to be treated you're gonna treat me like shit. You're gonna find some way to make it my fault and break up with me. So with all of that.....yes I am jaded on relationships. I'm jaded on a lot of shit to tell you the truth. I've tried to commit suicide which wasn't gonna be a pretty sight at all had I gone through with it. I actually wrote a blog about too. If you care to read it....you can click here.

Anyway, that's just a little look into what makes me who I am. I blame my randomness on LLI, my quick tongue on all who've wronged me, and my bitterness towards relationships on those who have screwed that notion up for me. Hate it or love it....this is me.

Regular Randomness: Royal’s Rules For Effective Dating

Happy New Year's MySpacians.....I hope yawl had as much fun as I did. Where else can you party when it's 16° outside with snow everywhere you look.

Meet a grown ass woman (40 years old) with the body of a fucking porn star!

And catch up on good times with old friends....



Ahhh....the memories! To say the least, This New Year's has been one of the best I've had. PhReSh came to the Chi to see how we do it round these parts. She fell in love with the barbershop we chill at, the food, and people of Chicago. I told yawl we party round these parts.

Onto the topic, before I get too sidetracked. Friday night while talking with blogging heavy hitters.....Randy and Slickback, I decided I'd put out my...
"Rules For Effective Dating"

To start, absolutely no one is outta your "league." I mean what determines a person's league? If I wanna holla at the finest thing walking....I'mma do it. I know ugly ass dudes with dime pieces.



When you get the number wait the standard 2 days before using it. If I get your number and call you that same night, I might seem a bit too eager. So I give a cool down period. There are exceptions to this....if you are feeling the person, fuck waiting. This leads to spacing out the dates.



The first date should always be about a to two weeks after you meet. This should give you ample phone conversation so you can get to know the individual you may be dating. This time period allows you to see whether you are about to deal with a psycho, a psycho in training, or someone who doesn't realize they are a psycho yet.



Trust me....you don't want to be on the receiving end of that shit.

Now I have a 3 date rule when it comes down to the get down. If we don't do something after the 3rd date....don't expect a phone call from me again. You'll be like this picture.....



Speaking of first dates.....



You cannot set the standard too high! You start off low so she can only expect good things to come. Case in point, Friday at Bar Louie, I said for the first date we going to McDonald's to eat. She looked at me like I was crazy as hell. She was instantly drawn into my argument. So I ask her, if a guy takes her to



Then for the next date yawl go to....



Would you be cool with that? So of course she starts with a typical response. You know the one I'm talking about. "See, I'm a different breed of woman." Look here woman....I've heard that shit before. This human had the nerve to say after that pre-programmed response, "I'd be cool with it, BUT we better be going to Bennihana's after that." Exact words. I'm thinking, "Bitch! You just proved my point. You ain't no different type of nut-TING!!"

Sex....better be fucking amazing.



All I'm gonna say.

If you follow these simple rules you will weed out the most of the psycho's and loser's, you will have a better dating life, and hey, at the very least you'll have some stories to share with you're friends.

Regular Randomness: So you gonna holla???

Ok.....I caught a lot of shit over that blog I wrote

"RK's Rules For Effective Dating"

and you know what? I'm cool with it. Everyone has standards and rules on how they handle business, and that was the point I was trying to get across. For those that didn't attack me I thank you, but you know I'm never sorry or apologetic for anything I say or write.

Well the lovely, radiant, and absolutely insane (cause she thinks she's gonna marry me off.....)



Ms. 9/5: VP of United Space

told me to go ahead and write this blog. It's more of questions I have for both men and women.

She wrote a blog today

"What Men Are Attracted To"

that gave a female view on what us men like. She did a pretty good job too. I couldn't argue with none of her points. I saw throughout her comments, she asked the question,

"Do you like it when women holla at you or do you prefer to do all the work?"

That is the question she asked me specifically. She had variations of same question for many of the guys that responded. My response to her question was,

"I will tell you one thing that irks all men to no end. Women....pay close attention to this too! If I catch you staring at me giving me the "evil eye" or "the look", stop acting coy and shit and come over and speak. I'm not gonna come over and say anything to you. If I'm looking at you, then I'mma speak first. If you know what you want don't play childish games by shooting me looks because I promise you won't like what I say."

I said it and meant that. Slickback and myself talked about the same subject last Friday at Bar Louie. Why do women sit in a social setting, see a man they want to talk to, yet they won't come over and say a damn thing you? I'm saying what's really up with that?

HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS....

Fellas.....
How would you handle that situation?
Would you initiate conversation?
Does it bother you that women will sit and want to talk to you, yet they won't?

Ladies.....
Are you the go and get it type, or sit and wait type? and why?
How do you feel when the guy you wanted to talk to walks out with the chick that's an obvious jump-off, when that could have been you walking out with him?

Mind you....sex is not always on a man's mind. Truth be told....women think of sex a hell of a lot more than men do. If you come up to us we think no less of you, and that shows us your confidence. Especially if you carry yourself like a lady, that goes far in our book. So holla at me....tell me what's good.

Things that would make me cheat on a woman...

As many of you may know, I am an avid motorcyclist and supporter of the motorcycle community.



Not enough positive light is shined on the community for things we do for the community. Sure we may act an ass on the roads, block lanes of highway with hundreds of bikes, and we certainly shut down Myrtle Beach and Daytona once a year. Some of the best events I've ever been to have been bike parties. Some clubs are known to shut hotels down! Bet you didn't know that bikers have been supporting your favorite cause for decades. They have rallies for Breast Cancer Research, Cerebal Palsy, and Luekemia. That's why you will most certainly find me at a bike event. Just look at my calendar. Anyway, I'm writing this because my good friend



Zirc Diggler

loves bikes but he doesn't have one of his own yet. I know a lot of bikers that know bikers, so chances are we will see some of them in here. I'm asking that the bikers and bike clubs that do stop by here and read this.....give some advice to a person who is considering getting a motorcycle. The pros and cons....you know, give my readers the rundown.

Now onto the lovely ladies.....



















































That bike was so nice....had to show it thrice!!!

























And the most serious trike I've seen in a looooooong while......



Now you gotta keep ya noggin safe too.....



Just do it in style!

I'd like to give a special thanks to hOw RePhReShiNg ... for taking these pictures at a bike show in California. I almost had an orgasm looking at them!

Here's a video for your enjoyment.....

Just for good measure....



In my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful women walking the planet!