Regular Randomness: Royal’s Rules For Effective Dating

Happy New Year's MySpacians.....I hope yawl had as much fun as I did. Where else can you party when it's 16° outside with snow everywhere you look.

Meet a grown ass woman (40 years old) with the body of a fucking porn star!

And catch up on good times with old friends....



Ahhh....the memories! To say the least, This New Year's has been one of the best I've had. PhReSh came to the Chi to see how we do it round these parts. She fell in love with the barbershop we chill at, the food, and people of Chicago. I told yawl we party round these parts.

Onto the topic, before I get too sidetracked. Friday night while talking with blogging heavy hitters.....Randy and Slickback, I decided I'd put out my...
"Rules For Effective Dating"

To start, absolutely no one is outta your "league." I mean what determines a person's league? If I wanna holla at the finest thing walking....I'mma do it. I know ugly ass dudes with dime pieces.



When you get the number wait the standard 2 days before using it. If I get your number and call you that same night, I might seem a bit too eager. So I give a cool down period. There are exceptions to this....if you are feeling the person, fuck waiting. This leads to spacing out the dates.



The first date should always be about a to two weeks after you meet. This should give you ample phone conversation so you can get to know the individual you may be dating. This time period allows you to see whether you are about to deal with a psycho, a psycho in training, or someone who doesn't realize they are a psycho yet.



Trust me....you don't want to be on the receiving end of that shit.

Now I have a 3 date rule when it comes down to the get down. If we don't do something after the 3rd date....don't expect a phone call from me again. You'll be like this picture.....



Speaking of first dates.....



You cannot set the standard too high! You start off low so she can only expect good things to come. Case in point, Friday at Bar Louie, I said for the first date we going to McDonald's to eat. She looked at me like I was crazy as hell. She was instantly drawn into my argument. So I ask her, if a guy takes her to



Then for the next date yawl go to....



Would you be cool with that? So of course she starts with a typical response. You know the one I'm talking about. "See, I'm a different breed of woman." Look here woman....I've heard that shit before. This human had the nerve to say after that pre-programmed response, "I'd be cool with it, BUT we better be going to Bennihana's after that." Exact words. I'm thinking, "Bitch! You just proved my point. You ain't no different type of nut-TING!!"

Sex....better be fucking amazing.



All I'm gonna say.

If you follow these simple rules you will weed out the most of the psycho's and loser's, you will have a better dating life, and hey, at the very least you'll have some stories to share with you're friends.