Get your motor runnin'!!!!

There's really only a few things that get my mojo flowin' now-a-days.....a sick motorcycle or a Mercedes Benz. I don't know what it is about forms of transportation that gets me going. I'll cheat on a girlfriend with a car or a motorcycle before another woman. The reasoning is simple. Cars and motorcycles don't talk back. They don't care how late you've been out drinking. They could care less if we're hanging with the fellas watching sports and holding our genitals in an obvious display of male testosterone. They just want us to admire their smooth lines. Wax and polish them for hours on end. Feed them 93 octane because they perform better with it. That's all they want.

So during my daily web-wandering, I come across this extra sexy Mercedes Benz on PopularMechanics.com. When I say sexy....I'm talking Halle Berry sexy in Monster when Billy Bob was slangin' wood to her. I don't care what anyone says either, that was the sexiest Halle has ever been in a movie. "Make me feel good!" Yawl remember that scene. Anyway, while reading this article I thought about the convo I had with Nik Nik from Georgia. She was saying the same thing about it's funny how if a biker cheats on his girl, more than likely it's with his bike. So true that statement is because if my girl pisses me off, I'll just go to my baby and ride her all day. Well here's a picture of that Mercedes I was talking about. Sexy aint she?! This is fine piece of German engineering is the F700. The F700 is a prototype of the future for the wildly popular S-Class series Benz. This bad boy gets 44mpg, literally unheard in the luxury class of vehicles. Wait a sec....you telling me that this car gets 44mpg and is not a hybrid? Well, it is. The hybrid capabilities are the same as all other hybrid vehicles. However, this car sports a "completely new kind of internal combustion engine." Check this out even....this car has what is known as the DiesOtto Engine-a 1.8-liter, four-cylinder gasoline engine that produces 238 hp and 295 lb.-ft. of torque (about the same as the current Mercedes 3.5-liter V6 or 3.0-liter diesel). Basically, if you think this car is a punk because it only has 4 cylinders, you are sadly mistaken. The F700 will go from 0-62 mph in only 7.5 seconds, while getting 44 miles per gallon and generating only 127 grams of carbon dioxide per kilometer (just over half a mile). Don't know wheter or not Mercedes is gonna release this vehicle as the F700 or utilize the body style in future S-Classes, but I do know this car will cost a pretty peny.

Now onto motorcycles. The Kawasaki ZX-14 Ninja is a beast among animals already shredding the pavement on 2 wheels. I saw one of these the other day and almost crashed. This bike defines sexy. Now don't get me wrong, the Suzuki Hayabusa GSX-R 1300 and the Yamaha R1 are two sexy bikes in their own right. This bike right here though.....let me just break down the details. It's powered by a 4-Stroke, 4-Cylinder, Liquid-Cooled, DOHC, 4 Valve Cylinder Head that's displacing 1352 cc. Top speed is estimated somewhere around 240 mph. Death on 2 wheels is right. But look at this bike. Everything about her says please move out of my way.....I am much faster than you are. What is so cool about this is, when I got the chance to talk to the rider who I saw on this bike, he was not modest at all in telling me about the functionality of this bike. He told me the fastest he got the bike to was around 215 mph and the acceleration was smooth the whole time. It was like he wasn't even shifting. He was too scared to go any faster. "Maybe one day I'll open her up and see how fast I can really push her." For his own sake I hope he opens her up with plenty of people around.

Puttin' Up Numbers Like Wilt!!!

I'm am by no means a sexual genius. I'm a King, not porn star. However I was reading an article in Men's Health about how to have sex with someone new every night. I was instantly intrigued....had someone really found the way to lay a different woman every night? Well, much to my dismay, it was about role playing. Wait a sec, did they say role playing? Now I'm a Scorpio and a big time freak. I continue to read. Some experts say that it is a healthy sexual release to role play during sexual activity. So I'll give you an example.....

Here we have *thinking of a general name so I don't offend* David and Mary. (Lord forgive me. These were the most common names I could think of off top.) He's a hard working average joe. He works at a factory pulling normal hours. He lives a normal life, in a normal house, with a normal car and a normal wife. Everything seems to be in place....no drama in his life. She's a homemaker, cooks, cleans, maintains the finances. She has a roof over her head so she's happy. No complaint's.



However, when the moon rises....they transform into Hector the Brazilian exotic dancer and Natalia the Russian figure skater.



They have some of the kinkiest sex you can imagine. Why? because they are merely acting out fantasies of other people the wish they could be. "Weird, right? That's what I thought at first. It's not. Pretending to be someone else is fun. It's exciting. It's hot. Trust me -- I'm a Ph.D. with seven published papers on the female orgasm."

Well he wasn't and didn't hold a Ph.D. in Pleasure, but is he speaking truths? So here's what I want to know....what naughty fantasy do you wanna play out with your significant other? Do you wanna be that cheerleader after the starting QB? How bout this fellas....you are in an entry-level position and she's your boss? Spill it! I know yawl got some stories and/or fantasies that you wanna live out.

As always, go check out the Award winning Blogxilla for the hottest blogs in one place. We blog like Rock Stars people! We livin' the good life!

Royal King © 2007

YES, YES YAWL!!! YOU DON'T STOP!!!

I was at the club last night and I saw something that inspired me to write this blog today. It seems as how the styles from the 80's Hip-Hop era are making a big fucking comeback. So I want to know....what would you like to see from the 80's Hip Hop Era make a comeback? The big gold ropes perhaps? What about those tight ass Addias suits? Furry Kangols? Cazal Shades? Let me know what you want to see. I'll leave you with a playlist of classic hip-hop joints for your enjoyment.

Royal King © 2007

What if the shoe was on the other foot?

I know there have been many blogs and bulletins posted about the young men in Jena, Louisiana. When I first heard the story of these young men, I felt compelled to write about it. I started but I became enraged as I am now. So I pose this question.....what if the shoe was on the other foot? I am fully aware of the white readers I have, and by no means am I racist. Those that know me know I hate stupidity and ignorance, both of which isn't bound by race, color, or creed. So with having said that, if you are offended by this blog then it is you who needs to take a deep look at who you are as a person.

So....what if the shoe was on the other foot? How would you feel if African's came to Europe and brought you back and forced you to work for them? What if Native Americans did the same? If you are scratching your head wondering what the fuck is this guy talking about, I'll break it down. In case anyone was wondering....we all came to America on a boat. Difference is, come of you had a choice in how you came over. Indians or Native Americans to be politically correct, were here long before Amerigo Vespucci or Christopher Columbus (who fucking missed), ever came in search of the fine spices from the West Indies. Europeans in search of a better life came to America on the Mayflower and Lord knows what other ships and saw the indians living happily and in relative peace. So now as I write this let's see why I get so irrate when a white person blows stuff of as insignificant. When those Europeans came over in search of a better life what happened? They eventually fucked over the indians. You can deny it all you want but white people have a long history of fucking people over in the name of Christianity. If you think I'm bullshitting....ask the Native Americans that live on these reservations you so convieniently placed them in.

Example two....slave trade. Africans didn't swim over here and say, "Hey.....I'd like to pick your cotton, work for free, and receive beatings by my owner! that sounds like the job for me!" Despite what you see in those movies, Africans were forced to come over to America. I know there are plenty of movies that show Africans sending other Africans to the white man. Remember the Nativie Americans how they were tricked. Same goes to the Africans. By using Christianity as a crutch....they loaded Africans on that ship like they were fucking animals! Tell me this shit is right! Then have the ardasity to put them on a stage and sell them to the highest bidder. Why do you think every chance they got they tried to escape. They were smart enough to realize that the situation they were in was fucked up! I know the smart man tries and the ignorant cope.

So know we fast forward to the 60's when racial tension was at it's highest. Segregation, which was simply a modern form of slavery, attempted to make African-Americans feel inferior to our white counterparts. You used terms like coon, nigger, spook, tar baby, and monkey to degrade us. White people utilized tactics such as cross-burning (biggest sacrilegous act I can think of), lynchings, and intimidation as means to "keep us in out place." Lynchings were so widely accepted....pictures would be taken by white people with their kids like they just caught a fish or some shit. Can you tell me by looking at this picture....this was justified? Any leader we had or have get silenced (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., John and Robert Kennedy, Huey Newton, and Mumia Abu-Jamal to name a few). For those that don't know JFK and RFK were the some of the biggest supporters of the Civil Rights Movement and fought for ways to better the nation through tolerance and understanding.

Here we are now with Jena, Louisiana. 3 nooses hang from a tree and nothing happens to the individuals that did it. I don't care what you say.....displaying of a 13 knot noose in such a manner constitues a hate crime. A couple weeks suspension is a slap on the wrist. I see how it is....in a town of about 4,000 people and only 350 are African-American you all hold the majority decison on what is right or wrong. Ok, six angry black kids beat up a poor little old white boy. He was out the hospital 3 hours later and a party later that night, yet you charged these young men with attempted murder? That's keeping us in our place huh?

So now I ask you. What if the shoe was on the other foot? How would you feel if African's had white people for slaves? What if the indians forced white people on a reservation? What if white people were the ones fighting for civil rights? How would you like it if African-Americans were hanging white people from trees and taking pictures of it? Then what if you got mad because a tree you wanted to sit under was a "black" only tree and then you found nooses hanging from the tree? Would you be mad if 4 days of racial tension culminated into 6 white kids beating up a black kid for calling you peckerwood or honky? Would you you supprt the Jena 6 if they were white? Reverse the situation and put yourself in our shoes. This is what African-Americans had to endure. America is as much mine as it is yours! Only difference is you had the choice to come over....

WARNING!!!!!

I'm coming after all you Blog Stalkers! Leave comments and Kudos....if not, I will be forced to let the rabid wolverine loose on you.

Durty 30

Rules:

1) Write a statement about someone that you've never said to them.
2) DO NOT indicate to anyone who these statements belong to.

3) Try not to repeat a statement.

4) Have fun, be serious, be nerdy or horny. Just do, something.

Okay...let's do it!

1. You keep running around with my name in your mouth, this will be the last thing you push up playa. Last and final warning.

2. Despite everything that has happened, I know that I can count on you during crunch time.

3. If I could, I would show you everyday what a beautiful woman you are, and I would try until my dying day....to show you that love couldn't possibly be strong enough a word to describe the way I feel about you.

4. I smoke because I know you don't like it, and you leave me alone at the bar.

5. Just admit it.....you are not that fucking good!

6. Don't think for one moment.....I wouldn't.

7. You make me want to pistol whip you in front of your family, you disrespectful son of a bitch. Really you do.

8. Maybe you should explore other options.

9. You always made me proud. Best of luck to you.

10. Why don't you understand that you were a mistake I made? I was young and horny and so were you.

11. Don't ever try to insult my intelligence again. That is something you are mentally incapable of doing.

12. You're about 10 minutes away from a restraining order.

13. I just want you to sit right on my face, but please allow me to breathe.

14. Yeah....I'm the one that did that to your car. Too bad you don't have the spine to do something back.

15. I really wish you hadn't moved your face. If I had connected, that punch would have been vicious! Thanks for breaking my hand though.

16. Next time you wanna shock me....swallow it!

17. I hope you find someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm sorry tha t man isn't me though.

18. If my bluntness offends you maybe you need to re-evaluate your lifestyle.

19. I know you are a homosexual. You're not fooling anyone but yourself. Be proud of who you are. Fuck what anyone else thinks.

20. You're not as gangsta as you think. Your girl told me about the broom.

21. I didn't sell you a dream. You just didn't believe me when I told you the first time. Now look at you.

22. I know you fucked her!

23. You have a really sexy mouth. Sometimes I wanna treat you like a porn star and just give it to you.

24. I hate to be the one to tell you but right before you kissed your girl, I nutted in her mouth. Like 2 minutes before you walked in.

25. Can I pull your hair and spank you?

26. I wish nothing but the worst for you, your children, your children's children, and everyone that comes after them.

27. I still can't believe you fucking did that! Awesome!!!!

28. I nutted on your face for a reason. Not just for laughs.

29. I don't think you really know how beautiful you are. I'll tell you right now, you are.

30. I'm sorry I've put you through all that shit. I love you more than anyone in this world and I hope you live forever.

Royal King © 2007

267

I'm not sure if anyone has seen this new liquor that's on the market called 267. Let me be the first to tell you.....that shit is fiya! I got the VodkaInfuson Cranberry, to test the waters. To say the least I was very pleased with this vodka. Now this will not get you bent quickly (21% Alcohol by Volume), but it will maintain your mingle buzz which is why this will get 4 out of 5 Starz in my book. What caught my attention about it was the bottle. It's not an everyday thing you're standing in the liquor store on Sunday and see real fruit inside a bottle of liquor. So of course my alcoholic ass goes over and takes a gander. I drink vodka more than any other liquor because I like the fact that if I get smashed, I'll wake up still drunk or completely sober. And I think there's a little more sophistication to vodka than that of it's counterparts, cognac and rum. Just my opinion....not a knock to those that sip "Yac." I just know what I prefer. Getting back to the subject. Seeing that the price for this is only a mere $24.00, I figure....what the hell?!! I've been on a vodka tasting frenzy this weekend. Tangueray Sterling Vodka, Rain, Ciroc, Ketel, and some shit called Square One. I think I'm more pleased with the 267 though. I don't even need to mix it with cranberry juice because the cranberries are already in there. I'mma be the alchie that I am and eat the cranberries when I finish the bottle. i don't see anything on here that says them thangs aint edible. I just hope the same thing don't happen to me like when I ate that damn worm. I ended up naked on some lady's porch holding my buddy singing my version of Stevie Wonder's "Isn't He Lovely." i still have no clue where my clothes are from that night. Anyway, 'll be sure to tell you how it is eating the cranberries. If I go on some deluded warpath, I'll be sure to write about it. And I just counted 30 of them things too!

Who says black folk can't get along? Just in case you're wondering that's me in the purple shirt. That's right folks....I was at a good old fashioned BBQ. The food was great, the people were chillin, and the music was definitely on point. It was the Derty Rydaz MC 3rd Annual BBQ and it seemed like everyone came out for this. Besides $5 for all you can eat....what's beating that? For a long time I've been telling people that bikers have the best parties, most fun, and no drama. It felt good to be there seeing everyone really having a good time. Of course, the police had to make there prescence known. I guess when you get a park full of black folk eating and really enjoying themselves something must be wrong. The cop said our music was too loud and that the people across the street were complaining. Impossible because they were all at the BBQ. I talked to 4 of the families that were there. They were thankful that we were BBQing because they didn't have to cook that night. LOL. All in all, it was fun had by all so I will leave you with a few pictures from the event. Oh, I'll give credit for this blog to "Flem" of Derty Rydaz. He thought this would be a good topic.

BYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!


Jumpstart Entertainment and Derty Rydaz





























Lil Derty Jo-Jo....The Future
















Derty BBQ

RE: FELLAS...what's your beef???

Ok, now I feel I can truly answer your question. I wanted to do this in the first place because your blog today was worthy of a good comment. I just knew that if I was gonna get that comment right, I'd have to put it in blog so everyone can understand. Everything I said earlier still holds true.

I'm gonna eloborate on my comment

Let me be honest and say, I was waiting for this blog like a child waits for
Christmas! You know I stopped thru yesterday to see what the ladies had to
say. I genuinely wanted to see what they had to say. A lot of what the
ladies said, I could agree with. There are areas we need to improve on.
However, there's some things that you do that bother us as well.

I'll give you 3 things that bother me the most.

1. Women that treat the next man like shit because of what the last boy did
to her.

2. Women that don't understand that when I say, "I don't want to talk about
it." That is exactly what I mean.

3. Women that go back and run they mouth about shit we going thru to her
girlfriends.

Aight, when I say treat the next man like shit because of what the last boy did....why do women hold on to that anger and resentment? You hold on to it enough to scare away any potential good man that would want something to do with you. You know what I'm talking about too. We give you a compliment and you come back with some backhanded statement. Turn the damn page....PLEASE!

When I say, "I'm not in the mood to talk about it." That is exactly what I mean. I know some women feel like they just gotta make their man feel good if he's upset. Trust me there is nothing wrong with that. But please, stop. When we get angry, we do not like to talk it out because it won't make us feel better. We are angry for whatever reason and talking about it only makes the situation worse.

Why in the hell do you feel the need to confide in every last girlfriend you have sometimes. Don't you know they will fuck your head up! There is nothing worse than a man having to hear about what goes on in his house from someone else. On top of that....finding out it was you who went and told Skittles and Pebbles our business. Come on now.

That includes arguments too. Why is it women feel the need to argue their point wherever they please. There is a word called tact. Check your emotions and start thinking rationally. If you didn't notice your PDE (Public Displays of Emotion), can get me arrested for a Domestic Dispute. I know I don't want to spend aa night in jail because i know you ass won't come bail me out. All because you couldn'twait until we got home to talk it out. You gotta be heard right then and there. Calm that shit down.

Why is it....as soon as I exercise my preference, I'm wrong! What the fuck is that about? I'll give you an example. I was at The Alley last Saturday. It's this club out in Newport News, Virginia. Anyway, most of the women that go there have a thing for "thugs" or "gangsta" or what have you. I am neither if the two. This woman comes up to me, and she is a big girl. Not my cup of tea you dig? When I say big I don't mean thick, I mean this woman was obese. I don't like bog girls like that. Just my preference. Instead of entertaining the thought I politely let her know that she is not my type. She has the nerve to get mad and call me all sorts of scrub's, busta's and yadda yadda yadda. Everyone that knows me, knows that when I'm in a club I'm chillin and to myself. So I before something rash came out my mouth I asked her did she have a preference in the types of men she wanted to be with. She said yeah. So I ask her, so why the fuck did you get upset with me when I had a preference not to talk to you. She shut up then. So when a man prefers not to do something, don't bash him for it.

All in all, I love my ladies to death, but some of the same shit you say we do wrong or that irks yawl. Irks us too. It's a double-edge sword and until you start COMMUNICATING with your partner, you will continue to go thru the same pains of not "finding a good man."

DAMMMMNNNNN!!!!! That had to hurt!

Before I start this here blog, I just wanna say this had to have been the most amazing sporting event I have ever witnessed on live TV. His name is Jake Brown....and he's my fuckin' hero man!!!! For those that don't know this cat had the worst bail out, not only in X Games history.....but quite possibly in the history of the sport. It was so bad that Tony Hawk said, "That was the heaviest slam we've ever seen!"

That's right, the YouTubers across the globe have dubbed him Jake "Fall Down" Brown. This 32 year old Aussie fell from an estimated 50 feet to the flat portion of the "Big Air" ramp. The amazing thing is, he got up and walked away. Just to put it into perspective, go to the fifth floor of a building and jump out the window. Yeah! I really hope this guy is counting his blessings.

What's even crazier is he plans on coming back and attempting it again.

Here's the video footage. You'll see his shoes go flying off his feet! I'm no "Skateboard P" but I will tell you, there's something not right about falling 50+ feet and walking away.

What seems to be the problem?

Imagine this if you will....you and your mate are hand in hand, strolling through this journey called life. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, there is a slight gentle breeze. All in the world seems fine because you are with you with the person you love. You finish each other's sentences and thoughts. Everyone around you says you two have the perfect relationship. You two have never had an argument, and if you did you used your excellent communication skills and talked about it. When the Kool-Aid is down to the last drop, you make more instead of putting in the fridge for your other half to find. You send little I'm thinking of you email's and text messages throughout the day. So I want to know how in the hell does this take a turn for the worse.

How do you go from that, to this? You can't stand the sight of each other, I mean yawl on some "War of the Roses" type of shit. You wish everything bad in this world happens to your other and only that person. Communication is little or nothing. Sex has become more of a chore than recreation. You two can't even be in the same room let alone the same bed. The "I love you!" texts have turned into, "I wish you were dead!" texts. You start picking fights because you want an excuse to be mad at the other. How does this happen? Men, are we doing something wrong? Can it be the women doing something wrong? How in the hell do you go from strawberries and cream, to shit and beans?

I want opinions people. What in your opinion, does the other person do wrong in a relationship? What does she do wrong fellas? What does he do wrong ladies? Or if you feel brave enough, tell us something you may have done wrong in a relationship. Here's your chance to tell it like it is.

Must be in the water....

I tell you with all that's going on today in the world....I don't know if I can handle this next one. The shock of this alone will rock the beverage world right down to the foundation! I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Brace yourselves people....AQUAFINA© is made with tap water! Oh my God! That crisp refreshing taste doesn't come from the glaciers of the Arctic? People we have been lied to by PepsiCo Inc. to believe the good tasting water was derived from untouched springs and shit of that nature.

TIME OUT!!!! Alright let's get serious for a second here....does anyone really think I give a rat's ass about where water comes from. Nope! However you just might care. Have you ever known people that say they would never drink out the faucet or from a public water fountain? You know the type....always has a bottle of water they got from 7-Eleven, White Hen Pantry, or Tinee Giant. They would come over your house and ask for some water and when you start the famous 10 second countdown they ask, "Oh....is that from out the sink? I don't drink water out the faucet."

(Yawl remember the countdown. Mom Dukes would say let the water run for 10 seconds so you're not drinking the water that was sitting in the pipes.)

Anyway, I guess there's been this whole big thing about the water coming from a public source. Both Coca-Cola's Dasani© and PepsiCo's Aquafina© both orginate from public sources aka public reservoirs. If anyone has seen those things up close and personal....wow!

Apparently, the whole water thing has gotten so big thatt the Mayor of San Francisco "banned city employees from using city funds to buy bottled water when tap water is available." (You gotta like this guy too....Gavin Newsome. He said that President Bush's stance on gay marraige is 'shameful'. Way to stand up for the millions of weird homo's running amuck in your city!)

Now all you skinny chicks that alway say, "it must be something in the water. That's why her ass is so big." Maybe yo ass wasn't drinking water in the first place. Either that or you're just genetically doomed to have a flat ass. To all those tap water haters....GOTCHA BITCH!