I guess the deal with this tag is list your 5 WTF moments during bad sex. DON'T HURT URSELF tagged me.....SMCH! If I didn't have love for your off beat ass, I wouldnt've done it. LOL! But I can't follow directions to save my life so I'll have good and bad moments. I'm not gonna tag nobody so if you want to do this....like a4h says, "Tag yo-self!"
5
While receiving fellatio from this lovely young woman....
Her eyes start rolling into the back of her head and she starts shaking a bit. Now here I am thinking....either she is really getting into this or this chick is having an epileptic seizure! Well.....it was the latter. Apparently, my back was to the TV and whatever was on, was flashing rather erratically....like a strobe light. Well, I never saw her again. I think it was for the best.
4
While in my man-whore days, I was at the telly with my people. we were burning some good-good when I sit on some chick's lap. I was so high I honestly didn't knw she was there. Well, she let's me sit and I hit the blunt one more time. Before I know it, her hand is on my dick. Not an issue....I'm like cool. I turn around to get ready to handle my business, and i turn back around to pass the blunt off.....EVERYONE IN THE ROOM IS FUCKIN!!!
So what do I do....I joined in!
3
Two days, after that romp I go to the club wearing red contacts. I looked like the devil yawl! Anyway, while in this club I run across this fat booty chick who says some real slick shit to me. So I'm like bet, I got this one coming back to the tel with me. Sure enough, once the club lets out she's waiting outside for me. I get her back to the room and we instantly start fucking. We take it to the shower, and next thing I know she's like I can't go no more. I'm like cool cause I'me a little tired myself. As soon as we step out the shower, shorty faints! I'm not exaggerating or embellishing the story. She fainted. I'm standing there like WTF! I had my favorite look on my face too....
2
This is more like a why did I have to see this shit moment. Fellas, if you are sexually liberated with you're woman meaning you like to "try" things, make sure you don't take no pictures of that shit. And you better be DAMN SURE....yo don't piss that woman off. This dude ex-wife, who I must admit is really...really good in bed, is mad as fuck at this nigga. She pulls out a bunch of pictures of this dude shoving all sorts of shit up his ass! Bananas, broomsticks, spoons, candle holders....you name it he shoved it up there. When I say a bunch, I'm talking over 100. Ol' girl was in some of them too, shoving the various items into his off ramp.
1
My number one all time WTF moment. I was in my barracks room watching TV when this chick I met that day calls me up. She wanted to kick it so I was like cool, and I go to pick her up from work.
So she get's in the car smelling like french fries and chicken grease. She said she had a change of clothes in her bag so I was like cool. I told her she was gonna have to take a shower if she was gonna be kicking it in my room. She had that in mind anyway so that was cool. She get's in my room and get's naked on the spot. Mind you I met her in the drive thru earlier that day. She takes he shower and comes back in the room and was dripping wet. I'm thinking is this chick gonna dry off or stand in front of me glistening like that. So I'm thinking I got me a jump-off. she walks over to me and starts sucking the royal penis.....LOL....I had too! So she goes to get on and I WILL PUT THIS ON MY MOMMA JOE! This bitch starts farting. I put her ass out so quick! I'm still mad at that shit!!!
While receiving fellatio from this lovely young woman....
Her eyes start rolling into the back of her head and she starts shaking a bit. Now here I am thinking....either she is really getting into this or this chick is having an epileptic seizure! Well.....it was the latter. Apparently, my back was to the TV and whatever was on, was flashing rather erratically....like a strobe light. Well, I never saw her again. I think it was for the best.
4
While in my man-whore days, I was at the telly with my people. we were burning some good-good when I sit on some chick's lap. I was so high I honestly didn't knw she was there. Well, she let's me sit and I hit the blunt one more time. Before I know it, her hand is on my dick. Not an issue....I'm like cool. I turn around to get ready to handle my business, and i turn back around to pass the blunt off.....EVERYONE IN THE ROOM IS FUCKIN!!!
So what do I do....I joined in!
3
Two days, after that romp I go to the club wearing red contacts. I looked like the devil yawl! Anyway, while in this club I run across this fat booty chick who says some real slick shit to me. So I'm like bet, I got this one coming back to the tel with me. Sure enough, once the club lets out she's waiting outside for me. I get her back to the room and we instantly start fucking. We take it to the shower, and next thing I know she's like I can't go no more. I'm like cool cause I'me a little tired myself. As soon as we step out the shower, shorty faints! I'm not exaggerating or embellishing the story. She fainted. I'm standing there like WTF! I had my favorite look on my face too....
2
This is more like a why did I have to see this shit moment. Fellas, if you are sexually liberated with you're woman meaning you like to "try" things, make sure you don't take no pictures of that shit. And you better be DAMN SURE....yo don't piss that woman off. This dude ex-wife, who I must admit is really...really good in bed, is mad as fuck at this nigga. She pulls out a bunch of pictures of this dude shoving all sorts of shit up his ass! Bananas, broomsticks, spoons, candle holders....you name it he shoved it up there. When I say a bunch, I'm talking over 100. Ol' girl was in some of them too, shoving the various items into his off ramp.
1
My number one all time WTF moment. I was in my barracks room watching TV when this chick I met that day calls me up. She wanted to kick it so I was like cool, and I go to pick her up from work.
So she get's in the car smelling like french fries and chicken grease. She said she had a change of clothes in her bag so I was like cool. I told her she was gonna have to take a shower if she was gonna be kicking it in my room. She had that in mind anyway so that was cool. She get's in my room and get's naked on the spot. Mind you I met her in the drive thru earlier that day. She takes he shower and comes back in the room and was dripping wet. I'm thinking is this chick gonna dry off or stand in front of me glistening like that. So I'm thinking I got me a jump-off. she walks over to me and starts sucking the royal penis.....LOL....I had too! So she goes to get on and I WILL PUT THIS ON MY MOMMA JOE! This bitch starts farting. I put her ass out so quick! I'm still mad at that shit!!!
It's also quite fitting that this is my 69th Blog!
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